Last week, Harbor Church members Scott and Laura Brewster, spent the evening with Vision Pathways as part of our speaker series. They shared really helpful insights and perspectives from their 30+ year marriage about dating, being a couple, and how god works in their relationship now.
Laura talked about a point she learned from Tim Keller's book,Meaning in Marriage
-- the difference between a consumption model of relationships (what can I get out of this?) and a covenant model (what is God calling me to commit to?) She spoke about how a covenant model changes the way you look for a mate as well as how you relate to each other once you're in a committed relationship.
Scott talked about how the verses in Ephesians 5 on husbands loving their wives and wives submitting to their husbands should be read in the context of the entire book of Ephesians -- which is all about being imitators of Christ.
They both shared about understanding the importance of differences in personality, like being an extrovert vs. an introvert -- how the two can balance each other out and help each other.
The highlight was a poem Scott shared, "On Marriage" -- it was something he wrote one early morning while preparing for his time together. It was a wonderful piece that referenced Bob Seger, Simon the Cyrene, and even Jo from Little Women. Here's the last section of it:
Joy? A feeling?
No my dear ones, when the keys are flung down the elevator shaft nineteen floors to their death, the hammer shatters car lamps in a stroke, a hundred unexpected twists hard of seeing,
Through horrid situations of mangled flesh and betrayal’s ugly caress – joy is a state of being!
James, the Lord’s brother said: “Count it all joy when you endure these trials”
And so it is dear ones with marriage, you are not shopping for the newest boots in Nordstrom’s aisles.
You are being called, (or not at all dear Sister Steele) to one-flesh the cross with another Simon the Cyrene,
astonished traveler, on the path of joyous perseverance of the Nazarene.
Thanks, Scott and Laura, for blessing us with a wonderful evening of wisdom!